She lets out a sigh of relief when he opens the door, following him into the house with less dread than before. She owes him a lot, she realizes. Beyond an explanation or an apology, and she doesn't know how she can possibly convey how sorry she really is. And, of course, her nausea picks this moment to kick back in. She swallows it down, determined to make it through this without losing her scant breakfast.
"I should have called," she says, running a hand through her hair. "I should have done a lot of things."
She leans against the wall, not wanting to impose on him any more than she has to; she imagines he must be angry enough with her as it is.
"It was stupid of me to leave town, especially after my own mother fled," she begins. "I really, really didn't think that through, and I should have. And I should have given you more of an explanation than I did. I...I panicked." It isn't easy for her to admit it, any more than it is easy for her to tell James all of this. She hasn't told anyone yet the real reason for her sudden departure: that she would end up her mother's daughter after all.
"I was thinking of myself, and only myself," she continues, staring James directly in the face as she talks. She wants him to know she means every word. "And that isn't fair, to you, or the rest of my family, who are all rightfully pissed at me too. You all deserve better than that, and I don't know how I'm going to make it up to you, but I'm working on that part. I'm...I just...I'm sorry."
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"I should have called," she says, running a hand through her hair. "I should have done a lot of things."
She leans against the wall, not wanting to impose on him any more than she has to; she imagines he must be angry enough with her as it is.
"It was stupid of me to leave town, especially after my own mother fled," she begins. "I really, really didn't think that through, and I should have. And I should have given you more of an explanation than I did. I...I panicked." It isn't easy for her to admit it, any more than it is easy for her to tell James all of this. She hasn't told anyone yet the real reason for her sudden departure: that she would end up her mother's daughter after all.
"I was thinking of myself, and only myself," she continues, staring James directly in the face as she talks. She wants him to know she means every word. "And that isn't fair, to you, or the rest of my family, who are all rightfully pissed at me too. You all deserve better than that, and I don't know how I'm going to make it up to you, but I'm working on that part. I'm...I just...I'm sorry."